2 Years Already?!

Eliza had her birthday January and I can't believe how fast the year went. I feel like we were just celebrating her first birthday. In my defense, A lot did happen in 2016!! She really didn't get that it was her birthday at all and since it was just after Christmas it was like a continual flow of presents. She didn't complain though. I hadn't planned anything big, but like all of my kids birthday, as soon as it comes I go out and buy everything imaginal for a "party". So long story short, she got spoiled... She loved opening presents and loved everything she received.

This last year was an exciting one for her and her development. First she got off that retched medication and I can only bet she was finally able to see clearly. She became a big sister! It took some getting used to, and one on one lessons of softness, but she is a great sister and she loves Nora to the max. She started to walk!! A little late, but she did it and that was a huge relief. She is now sleeping in a big girl bed, since climbing out of her crib and falling to the ground. So now she has mastered playing during nap time. By playing I obviously mean, emptying every drawer, diaper holder, wipe container, closet, toy box, she can reach. I spent a good while putting everything back. It did help me to organize though!!

She is still working on talking. She says a few words (they don't actually sound like the real word but mimic them), Momma, hello, bowl, Nora, sorry, and will do a few animal sounds. Mostly meow (which sounds more like maauu, rar, ssssss (for snake), she will also stick her tongue out for dog. She understands everything and will follow instructions, she just can't get words out I guess. She will also "ask" by making the "huh" sound in a higher pitch while cocking her head. It makes me so happy to see that, because I know she is capable of trying. We  have been meeting with a speech therapist for a few months now and I'm not sure if anything is working. It's more like play time for Eliza, the therapist wants to see her trying and hopefully make some sounds to help diagnose her. But Eliza is stubborn and will not make a peep for her, which is very frustrating. Tomorrow is her last visit for now. I think we decided to take a small break to let her mature a little and hopefully just start talking. This is definitely a hurdle I am anxiously waiting to be over.  We have started learning sign language more seriously and when I see her communicate in that way I am elated! One way or another this child will be heard.

Her Neurologist moved and now we have a new one that I'm not sure about yet. He pretty much wants to research everything all over to get a clearer picture. So in a few weeks Eliza will have another MRI and hopefully that will give her Dr. what he wants. 

 Every year around this time I am reminded of how Eliza started her mortal journey here. It was a short 2 weeks of our lives in the hospital, but it seemed like it was an eternity and it consumed me in every physical, emotional, and spiritual way. And today there are some unknowns that still consume me. Eliza is progressing and that's all that matters, but in the stillness I worry. I just know how life can be hard, and I want it to be easy for her. Haha. I also worry if I will be the mother that she needs. We are perfect for each other in many ways, but as her caregiver I can't help but feel that I need to give her more. I'll work it out and it will work out the way my Heavenly Father has intended.

Lately everyone in the house has been sick (like for months). I don't know if this is why, but she has been sooooo snuggly. She has to be on top of me all the time, and I LOVE it! She is my sweet precious girl and I'm not so sure I deserve her.